Lately, might not be quite the right word to use since now that I’m looking back I seem to have been in this holding pattern for almost two years now.
Drifting. . .
I think that is the right way to describe my faith life since we moved to the East Valley. I’m going to blame it on lots of different things like being pregnant, and then being a first time parent, like trying to find a new church, and switching small groups in the middle there when we had Hannah, like losing some very good strong friends when they moved and then losing some more when we moved. But I think the main culprit has been that I haven’t been committed. I’ve been letting the current take us where it will. Not sinking, but also not trying to swim in any particular direction.
Drifting. . .
Now, with another church move imminent and another new small group to find and make new friends, I have to be more aware of staying aloof. One of the men in our current small group made a comment about how I hardly ever participate in the discussions. Those of you who knew me when I wasn’t drifting would say “That doesn’t sound like Becca.” And it doesn’t. It made me realize that I haven’t been comfortable in that setting and that my bible study/faith life has been suffering because of it.
The recent discussions and struggles we’ve been having have got me back into the bible and digging for the truth. Its refreshing. My last note and everyone’s responses has triggered about 15 new things I want to write about. I miss writing. Nate and I have had some fresh debates. I miss sharpening our swords against each other.
All this to say, I see the light at the tunnel. I”m not drifting any more. I think I have a goal, a destination, something to write about again. 🙂