Hide it Under a Bushel, No!

The church we attend is pretty serious about living a life of obedience. Coming from a Lutheran background this has been somewhat different for me. No, 2 Rivers Church is not into salvation by works or self attained righteousness, they too are centered on God’s grace, but they also believe that once your salvation has been established in Christ Jesus, that you must start to become more Christ-like, and that only happens through obedience. Also, there are many verses such as John 14:21 that explain that Jesus reveals himself to those who are obedient. So, if you feel like God is not moving in your life, maybe it’s because you are not being obedient to a conviction or instruction he has already given you. I don’t know if this is unique to the other churches I’ve attended in the past, or if I’ve just come to a point in my spiritual maturity where I’m willing to yield my will to God’s. In either case, this year has been a growing a experience for me, largely because God revealed to me in a very tangible and intellectual way that obedience is important to God, and if I want to grow in my faith, I need to be obedient.

Not for religiosity’s sake, but a life of obedience that results from desire to be in a deeper relationship with Christ. God doesn’t give us commands and teachings for his benefit. Our obedience or disobedience cannot add or take away anything from the glory of God. But God knows that living a life according to his teaching is the best way to live in fellowship with him and our neighbors.

When Brian White taught at our church on Hebrews 2, he made an analogy of a boat at drift in a lake or sea. We can be saved and still be adrift, but our sinful nature will always cause us to drift further away from God, not closer. Obedience is the motive force that brings us closer to be imitators of Christ. Obedience allows us to experience a deeper relationship with our Savior. Brian also taught salvation without obedience does not give us rest. It is not until we begin being obedient to God’s will for us that we gain the benefit of being in his rest.

For a long time now, God has been convicting me of disobedience. The bible has many clear instructions about the misuse of alcohol, which I have always rationalized away. I’m not talking about casual social drinking. I’m talking about drinking for the express purpose of getting drunk. For the last couple of years I’ve been developing a habit of staying up late Friday and Saturday night, after all of my responsibilities have been attended, rapidly drinking with the purpose of getting a buzz before resigning to bed. I thought this was harmless, my wife would tell you I’m a great husband and father, my boss would tell you I’m one of her best workers. I took quizzes online to help me determine if I have a drinking problem by the world’s standards, and I scored well. The only question I consistently did bad on was “do you think you have a drinking problem?”. But whether my wife or the world thought I had a problem or not, I felt it was taking away from my family because for the rest of the night and half of the next day, I wasn’t being the best father and husband I could be. I wasn’t thankful to have my daughter jump on the bed early in the morning. I wasn’t thankful to change my baby’s diaper in the middle of the night. More importantly, God was giving me growing conviction that this habit was also inhibiting my ability to grow deeper in Christ. It was causing me to be less than the best I could be for my family, and it may affect my ability to share the gospel with others.

One week a month our church has a prayer room dedicated for 24 hrs prayer. In Nov 2009 I used this opportunity to finally got serious about taking this before God. I prayed and I fasted that God would make it absolutely clear to me whether my drinking was acceptable in his sight. On the last day of my fast, God was gracious to give me a physical sign, a physical manifestation of his will for my life:

This pitcher is somewhat of an idol for me because it represents a time in my life when I boasted about my consumption prowess. I’m not against social drinking, but this is an icon of drinking in excess in my life.

On the last day of my fast, God rebuked that idol head on. A perfect crack formed from the top of the pitcher to the center of the bottom, after 9 years of careful ownership. I don’t use this pitcher, it sits on my shelf as a keep sake of my college years. We actually heard the crack forming one night but the sound happened too infrequently and too softly to locate. The crack took several hours to form that we know of, but we couldn’t explain where the sound was coming from and it wasn’t until days later when we noticed the crack in the pitcher sitting quietly on the shelf.

But as often happens, pride got in the way. I was afraid to admit to my family that I thought I had a drinking problem, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to change. But time and time again God would place conviction on my heart through the Word and the words of others. In Feb 2010, God finally broke through by giving me a revelation in the form of a question. In the song, This Little Light of Mine, what do you think is meant by “Hide it under a bushel”? God was using a song I often sing with my children to help me understand his will for me. Through his intellectual revelation I came to realize that a bushel can be any act of disobedience or any sinful desire that you allow to have a foothold in your life. These things can suffocate the light of Christ that is within us, and at a minimum can become a barrier for others to see that light.

More of you God, less of me. I am fully aware that this blog post could be used against me in future job applications or “character checks”, but I cannot allow my shame to hide the glory of God. His supernatural response to prayer shakes me out of my rationalization, his grace and gentleness lead me into a closer relationship with Jesus.

This is still a work in progress. I’m happy to say that I have had very little alcohol in 2010, and I believe that is totally by the strength of God, just has he has previously done in other areas of my life, but I have not yet killed my flesh on this. I still feel temptation to return to it every Friday and Saturday night. But I’m learning to walk in the Spirit (Gal 5:16), and very soon I expect I’ll be able to say “see, this is what God has done in me”.