In the short 3 years that I’ve been a parent I’ve discovered that I absolutely abhor the phrase “I can’t”. I wonder how many times I tortured my parents with this phrase?
My distaste for this phrase has 2 flavors:
1. When I’ve asked my children to do something that might be a small stretch for them but I know is within their cognitive, emotional, and physical capability to do. If their response is an immediate “I can’t” followed by a fit, I start to lose my patience. I want to see them try. I have absolutely no problem helping my children if I see that they have made an effort.
2. When I’ve asked my children to do something that I’ve seen them do before time and time again, and yet their response is “I can’t” followed by a fit, my patience is gone immediately. This response is selfish, lazy, inconsiderate, juvenile, ‘me me me’, serve me.
Parents instinctively want to see their children succeed and grow, become more and more responsible, self sufficient, able to make good choices. Parents are typically more knowledgeable about what their children are capable of than the children. Often times children will pick up on this nurturing and thrive on it, to the point of impressing their parents, not just meeting their expectations. But sometimes kids have a bad day, brought on by any number of things (insufficient sleep being the most common offender).
Unfortunately, I don’t think this behavior is limited to small children. Funny how we sometimes slip back into old patterns, or need a little extra attention, or pampering, or recognition, or hand holding. I know that God is infinitely more patient with me than I am with my children, but I imagine the high hopes he has for us are also infinitely greater than mine too. We may not use the same words or kick and and scream on the floor, but oh how it must grieve God every time we say “I can’t” in our own way. God knows that we can, and God has given us everything we need to do the work he has appropriated for us!
Philippians 4:13 (New Living Translation)
13 For I can do everything through Christ,[a] who gives me strength.
What do you have to say about that? No excuses or tantrums allowed, just call on the name of Jesus and do it!
-Nate
Sometimes they say I can’t just because they want our presence. Maybe we need to think of a better response when they say it, like a hug and some encouragement. I know I get mad too.
As a teacher, I have the exact same sentiment about those words!