Moms

Grandma, Hannah, Grandpa, Benjamin

I thought I might wait until Mother’s Day to write this post, but it seems like I ought to write it today instead.

Today was supposed to be my due date, adding baby #3 to our family and partially justifying why I quit my job and I’m staying home now. Instead we have a little foster son and our two beautiful children. We are at peace, but a little bit of grieving is left to do, and maybe will always be there. I have a friend at church who should be having her baby any day now and I will likely live a little vicariously through her by getting to hold the little guy and smell that newborn baby smell.

Instead of spending too much time grieving, I’ll choose to remember instead. This is a photo of a very special necklace of a very special mom, my grandmother. My mom gave it to her many years ago and she wore it a lot. When Grandma passed away, this charm was the main thing she wanted to have as a keepsake. I was able to find many photos with Grandma wearing it and am specially moved by a photo of her and Grandpa with Hannah and Benjamin a few years ago (shown above).

I don’t know if Mom wore it or not in the couple years she has had it, but she has now gifted it to me as a memorial to the grandbaby she never got to meet. I have worn it a couple times and each time I am reminded of the incredible legacy of motherhood that is behind me and the footsteps I have to follow in. I pray that I will have at least one more child, not as a replacement of the one we lost, but because we make cute kids! I pray for our foster son’s mother, that she will realize what she is missing and start making some better choices. I pray that I will be able to be a mother and grandmother like my grandmother and my mother have been. Its a tough job, following behind some great women. They have shown me the way, and all I have to do is have the courage to follow.

Give your mom a hug and tell her thank you. Give your kids a hug and tell them you love them. And if you know anyone who has lost a baby or a child before they should have, give them a hug too, they need it.